If you want to change your life well, you’re going to have to... change your life!  If there’s something wrong in your life, career, business, relationships, finances or health at the moment, continually doing the same things is going to change nothing.  If there is pain of any kind in your life at the moment, you’re going to have to take action and do something different.   There’s no point in banging your head repeatedly off a brick wall.  And, do you know what happens more...

Success at anything is all down to how you focus your mind.  But most people aren’t really sure what focus means – the most common misinterpretation being that it means that you need to focus on your goals.  Now, obviously, you do need to have a good idea of what you’re trying to achieve but if you keep focusing on a desired outcome, you will be completely unfocused on what you have to do in the here and now. In other words, when it comes to more...

How do you make an impact on people?  Whether you’re trying to make an impression with the guy or girl at the bar, whether you’re trying to win over a prospective employer or trying to let a difficult person know where they stand, how effective are you at the fine art of communication?  Research shows that, when we communicate, the impact that we have depends on a lot more than the words that we use.  Body language accounts for fifty six percent more...

Research in the fields of psychology and personal development have indicated that the human subconscious mind is cybernetic – like a heat-seeking missile, point at a target and it will hit it.  In other words, give it a goal in which it believes and it will, by its own devices, bring about the achievement of that goal.  Your subconscious mind is working in this manner already.  Unfortunately, however, the outcomes in which the normal subconscious mind believes more...

Far too often, personal development websites and self improvement books focus on financial freedom or the amassing of personal wealth as the route to “living the dream”.  Too often, people define their dream in material terms – the kind of lifestyle that they want, the holidays, the cars, the houses.  In other words, living the dream is linked in most people’s minds to having nice stuff and lots of it! If you pin your hopes on specific material achievements, you’re more...

Do you have enough time to do all the things that you really should be doing today?  Are you a slave to others’ demands at work?  Are you trying to juggle job and family responsibilities and finding that you’re getting neither done properly?   Are you one of these people who has to take home work at the weekend to “catch up”?   One of the biggest problems with the modern pace of life is that we don’t seem to have enough hours in the day to more...

We all have bad habits that we would like to give up – but the point of this short article is that all habits are bad!   Sure, you might have heard of books like “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People” or even the sequel about the eighth habit! – but there’s no such thing as a good habit.  If you stop to think about it for a moment, you do everything habitually – from brushing your teeth to dressing yourself, to driving your car, to saying “Hi” to the same people more...

A friend once asked if I was happy.  “Yes” I replied “100 percent happy!”  Her reaction?  “Oh, that’s very sad!”    But, happiness is to be found within (where else would you expect to find it?) and just because I’m happy doesn’t mean that I don’t want to achieve more, that I don’t want more of all the good things that life has to offer.   I said “want” but, in truth, what I mean is “prefer”.    You see, generally speaking, we haven’t got a clue as to what we really want more...

Lots has been said and written about the so-called Law of Attraction – how you can attract what you want into your life.  Little has been said about what you have to do to get it to work in your favour.  It has been suggested that all you have to do is “believe” (whatever that means – necessarily the subject of a separate post) and what you want will come to you. Would that it were so simple!   Unfortunately, some work is involved on your part – more...

One of the keys to business success is competitive advantage.  Lots of businesses talk about it or for it, but very few really understand it.  Put simply, competitive advantage means being different – a difference that’s substantive, not cosmetic.   And to be different, the key people in the business need to actually lead, behave and be different.  Different from what?  From the norm. 
Research shows that normal people are all the same, they use their more...

You’ll always find something to stress you out.   I’ve a client who telephoned me to tell me “I’m stressed out because I’ve nothing to be stressed out about!”  Seriously!  We never have to look far for something to whip up our adrenalin – and, if we can find nothing, we’ll make it up.  In fact, if you are suffering from stress, that’s exactly what you’re doing – making it up.   Your stress has got absolutely nothing to do with what’s going on or who’s doing what more...  

It is quite amazing the number of people who swear by the benefits of positive thinking but have very little to show for it.  Of course, positive thinking is far better than negative thinking, but it is still just thinking – and most of the thinking that we do exercises our conscious mind, that small part of our mind that plays little or no part in the creation of our everyday lives.  Rather, it is our programmed subconscious mind that creates our automatic behaviour more...

Even though I fully understand and appreciate that normal people are stark raving mad, it still never ceases to amaze me as to how much energy they pour into relaying negative news.   Some actually take a warped delight in having the worst news first and being the first to depress as many people as possible with it.   Lisa – my infinitely better half – regularly chats by ‘phone to our “old country”, Ireland, which is going through a far more traumatic more...

Over the last couple of weeks I've noticed an increase in the number of people buying and downloading one of my eBooks "XL-Yourself Right Now" - so why should I not mention it to everybody?! In fact, it's a lot more than an eBook, it's a downloadable package comprising a workbook, in .pdf format, structured into six modules, designed to be followed over six days – you can rest on the seventh! – together with a number of .mp3 ‘mental exercises’ more...

I got an invoice from my lawyer a couple of days back – for what exactly I’m not sure, as his services didn’t really match the bill!    He said he was sending out invoices to a variety of people to “keep the wolf from the door in these challenging times”. Challenging times they may well be for many.   But the real and only challenge we face, regardless of economic circumstances, is the challenge within.   “How will I react in the face of so much negative more...

I regularly write about just how crazy normal people are. But there's crazy and, then, there's crazier. This is craziest! We first met this particular family on the local tennis tournament circuit – their then 13 year old son had been a rising star until he had decided to stop taking the Class A banned performance enhancing drug that his parents had had him on.  Yes – you heard me!  Both parents were convinced their son was the next world number one more...

It's Monday morning - at least where I'm sitting - and God alone knows what the week ahead has in store for us. Undoubtedly, there will be both ups and downs. The trick, of course, is to not let the downs get you down and to not let the ups get you too elated - we need to keep a level head, a clear mind and one that is alert to both the opportunities that abound and one that is properly equipped to deal simply, appropriately and firmly with whatever more...

OK - it's my own book but that's no reason not to mention it! It's like me, short and simple! It explains how our normal, sad, crazy little minds work against us, not for us. Armed with that understanding, you can then follow the simple, practical and (as my clients tell me) life-changing exercises, ideas and tips, so that you can start changing your life into the one that you really want. It's not about positive thinking (even though that's what the publisher's blurb more...

Quite a number of my clients have talked to me at length over the last few weeks about the challenging times we live in.   Business and economic life is challenging.   For those of us trying to offer a guiding hand to teenagers, life can have its moments!   Many find themselves in challenging relationships.  And the secular nature of modern life makes the spiritual life challenging.   
But these are not challenges – these are things that are sent to try us. more...  

As parents, we have a massive influence over our children – and the kinds of adults they will become. Last ski season, I was flying from Dublin to Geneva – the plane was full of holidaymakers looking forward to a few days of fun.   Sitting next to me was a little guy, maybe three or four years old, with his legs crossed up under him, buried deep in his Nintendo game.  Beside him, was his father, reading the Irish Times Friday Business Supplement. more...  

I'm constantly being asked by clients to recommmend books that strike at the heart of what we need to do to grow as effective, productive, happy and successful people. Top of my list (excluding, of course, my own book, "To Succeed... Just Let Go") is "Awareness" a short, forthright, incredibly insightful, challenging and blunt read by Tony deMello. Readable only in small chunks (there’s so much to digest) – the book is, in fact, excerpts from some more...

Did you know that your personal happiness – and the ability to be effortlessly successful – is directly linked to your ability to pay attention.   Many years research shows that when you have a “peak moment” – a natural high – all your attention is wrapped up in that moment.   But, it also works the other way around.   If you can train your mind to pay attention to what you’re doing, to wrap your mind up in each moment, each moment will become a peak more...

I was recently sitting in one of Dublin’s main train stations on my way to my brother’s apartment.  Late in the evening, the last trains were heading for the remoter outlying towns.  Three work colleagues, professional types, sauntered along the platform after a long day’s work – laughing and joking.  One of the guys, Gerry, started telling a joke and, as one does, one of the others interrupted with a witty remark.  But Gerry wasn’t happy at his joke more...

If you’re normal, and chances are that you are, you’re as good as dead.  Startling statement?  Am I just trying to grab your attention?  No – decades of research prove that the normal mind is cluttered, unfocused and negative.  The normal subconscious mind is focused in your formative years, thinking that they’re happening all over again.  Your conscious mind is bombarded by 50,000 random thoughts, mostly useless, and you, yourself can only more...

Very interesting to watch the development of a couple of childish arguments this week – from the ridiculous to the downright dangerous.  First of all we have Robin Williams and Kevin Rudd – Australia’s Prime Minister (who should know better) trading insults.  Rudd got upset when Williams (remember he’s an entertainer and comedian – not a statesman or diplomat) described Australia as a country of “English rednecks”.  Rudd (who is a statesman but clearly more...