I hear from quite a number of people – clients and readers of my Personal Development Ezine – who tell me that they have become far calmer, more aware and focused as a result of the various little “mental exercises” that they undertake to banish stress and move themselves in the direction that they want their life to go.  I regularly get feedback from some who tell me that their lives have changed and that they have seen some of their goals being achieved almost effortlessly.  But others wonder why, if they are developing calm, clarity and presence of mind, nothing new and exciting seems to be happening in their lives.

In answering them, I often refer to what a client from Northern Ireland said to me at the height of the so-called “Troubles”.  He said “Obviously, for some people, doing their mental exercises is a bit like the way some of my fellow-countrymen go to Mass on a Sunday, kneel down and pray and, on a Monday, go out and blow someone up!”   The point is very well made – if your efforts at personal development don’t make an impact in the ordinary course of your everyday life, there really is little or no point in fooling yourself into thinking that you’re on the road to the life that you want.  Personal development isn’t supposed to make you feel good for five, ten or fifteen minutes each day, it’s supposed to change your life and if it isn’t doing that, then you’re doing something wrong.

As I write this, I’m awaiting the arrival of a client who is going to spend the next couple of days with me here in the Alps.  I received an advance note from him – what he called his “agenda” – and, on that note, he asks how to bring the calm and focus that you get through meditation or mental exercising into the rough and tumble of everyday life.  My answer to him will be simple.  During the course of your everyday life, especially when the going gets tough, you’ve got to regularly pause, take note of your state of mind and compare that state of mind to the calm and clarity that you get when you’re doing your personal development exercises.  If you’re state of mind has drifted from your benchmark calm then you’re going to have to take a momentary step back from what’s going on, take a few deep breaths, and restore the mental calm and focus that will make the difference to your actions and personal effectiveness in the present moment.

Personal development isn’t personal development if you’re not seeing concrete results in the course of your everyday life – if your life is still all over the place, you’re only lulling yourself into an even more dangerous place where you may well end up making decisions or taking what you think is action that may well make your life worse rather than better.